I am reading …

 I am reading steve jobs’ biography though I should not. I was laughing at their pranks in high school. Only the brightest in my hs did the prank and they all went to MIT. I couldn’t believe Steve had the wicked sense of humor of flipping off school system during graduation…brilliant….I am part of the product of school system….professional test taker. Sometimes I want to ask..what’s the meaning of all this studying crap. I was politely in my mind,  hand gensture the obscene sign that I was not supposed to. I hate studying…and that’s ironic for a physician. I feel burnt out. I don’t want to study what is already there…I want to expand into what is not known….I guess that’s why I was always at ease in the lab in the middle of the night…devising experiment, wondering what would work in my next experiment in UCLA or Stanford. I was in this little lab in the subbasement of Caltech in high school studying green florescent light and that was liberating for a weird 17 year old me. To me, it’s more exciting that I increased the number of drosphila embryos production for my heat shock experiment in college than going out partying, drinking, like rest of good ol UCLA students would do. COllege was one of the best and hardest years of my life…it was productive, mind blowing….creative and free…I was free to explore anything while medical school and residency training are the most rigid form of training more like army training and sponge absorption of knowledge instead of free exploration. 

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